Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of husbands. Remember all men would be tyrants if they could.Abigail Adams
A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.Joey Adams
If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.George Ade
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.Woody Allen
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.Robert Anderson
Quarrels often arise in marriages when the bridal gifts are excessive.Antisthenes
But, alas! what poor Woman is ever taught that she should have a higher Design than to get her a Husband?Mary Astell
I married beneath me, all women do.Nancy Astor
In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again. We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring.Enid Bagnold
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.Honore de Balzac
One should believe in marriage as in the immortality of the soul.Honore de Balzac
The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.Honore de Balzac
Married couples who work together to build and maintain a business assume broad responsibilities. Not only is their work important to our local and national economies, but their success is central to the well-being of their families.Melissa Bean
Why in almost all societies have married women specialized in bearing and rearing children and in certain agricultural activities, whereas married men have done most of the fighting and market work?Gary Becker
Well married a person has wings, poorly married shackles.Henry Ward Beecher
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.Brendan Behan
I wanted to marry a girl just like my mom.Michael Bergin
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.Ambrose Bierce
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.Ambrose Bierce
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.Ambrose Bierce
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.Josh Billings
Protecting the institution of marriage safeguards, I believe, the American family.John Boehner
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.Erma Bombeck
A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.James H. Boren
One was never married, and that's his hell; another is, and that's his plague.Robert Burton
I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up.Barbara Bush
Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person.Sophia Bush
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all.Lord Byron
A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers.Eddie Cantor
I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.Frank Carson
The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much.Colin Chapman
There's nothing like a good cheating song to make me want to run home to be with my wife.Steven Curtis Chapman
There is a time for all things - except marriage, my dear.Thomas Chatterton
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.Gilbert K. Chesterton
Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.Charles Caleb Colton
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.Billy Connolly
The true index of a man's character is the health of his wife.Cyril Connolly
Marriage is an exercise in torture.Frances Conroy
Caesar might have married Cleopatra, but he had a wife at home. There's always something.Will Cuppy
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.Rodney Dangerfield
I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year.Bette Davis
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.Benjamin Disraeli
No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.Benjamin Disraeli
Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.James C. Dobson
Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.Isadora Duncan
The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.Finley Peter Dunne
It's not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.Euripides
Marriage is a financial contract; I have enough contracts already.Linda Fiorentino
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.Robert Frost
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.Zsa Zsa Gabor
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